


Solace in Sin

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Age Difference, Complete, Explicit Sexual Content, Humanstuck, M/M, Oral Sex, Romance, SO, Smut, Sollux is a teacher, Teacher-Student Relationship, The Full Sex], a little bit of aravris, but short chapters means more updates, but the age difference isnt so disgusting, each chapter is more like a vignette, hell yeah, i was reading lolita when i got inspiration for this, minor sollux/feferi, short chapters coz theyre more poetic????, will change rating later, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-12
Updated: 2014-05-08
Packaged: 2018-01-12 04:07:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 20,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1181680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You knew it was wrong, he was almost ten years your junior. But your self-control was wearing thin because you couldn’t keep your eyes off of him and you chastised yourself and drank too much coffee and started smoking more and more. He had you strung out completely.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

It started out quite innocent and simple.

The simple act of looking into one’s eyes is something to be expected by polite young students who transferred from the mother country to a public school in a small American town. You shouldn’t have been bothered by it but you were because the way that this particular student looked at you wasn’t hazed over by recreational drugs or the linger of sleep. No, his eyes were a clear blue and sometimes you thought you caught specks of violet in them. He actually looked at you when you spoke and it pierced you down to the pit of your stomach.

Eridan Ampora, boy of seventeen who carried with him a Welsh accent and a polaroid camera, the shot of espresso in your morning coffee and the need for an extra pill at night, the extra puff of smoke that would curl out of your lungs during breaks and the light of a better day in your dull sunset. He was your sweet vice, your dangerous virtue and your addiction.

He was late for his first class with you, strutting in like he owned the place. You were fairly new to the job, only twenty-eight, teaching math at the first high school you were accepted to. You hoped to find a better job somewhere else but this is where you would start. He strut into the class like he owned the whole place, standing tall on long, long legs with his glasses and his camera. You could usually tell if you were going to like or dislike a student but this was a strange case.

At first his self-righteousness and audacity angered you to the point where you wanted to slap him across the face. He was obnoxious and arrogant; talking like everyone was below him and walking like he was a prince. He had come from a boarding school so it was understandable that he would be so pretentious but when you thought about it you found yourself with two pencil halves.

As the first two months of school went on this boy started to intrigue you. One of your teacher friends had heard you ranting about how you hated the kid and had given you an essay he had written. You were never much of a reader but he dragged you into a world where he broke the barriers of traditional writing and took you down. You read the rest of his pieces and looked at his art work and even managed to confiscate some of his polaroid’s.  
You were drowning in Eridan Ampora.

You observed Eridan in your class and in the halls. You heard the rumors. You heard he was a slut but he never had a boyfriend or girlfriend or hung around any lover looking people. You assumed he was gay because of the way he acted and dressed but judging a book by its cover was something you personally had proved wrong. You had only dated two girls in your life and three men, but most people thought you were as straight as the rulers you kept in your desk. Eridan hardly hung around anyone, really. He seemed to float between groups, a popular loner. He was loathed by other students but they also seemed to want him to join their group for a few days. 

You were absolutely obsessed.

You knew it was wrong, he was almost ten years your junior. But your self-control was wearing thin because you couldn’t keep your eyes off of him and you chastised yourself and drank too much coffee and started smoking more and more. He had you strung out completely.

Only then did you notice that he was mirroring you.


	2. Pencils

At first you thought that you were blowing things out of proportion. 

Right as the fall was slipping his hand up the skirt of summer Eridan started wearing a scarf. Every day. It annoyed you to no end. It wasn’t the make or colour of the scarf or the fact that it covered his tantalizing neck. It wasn’t that it was completely pretentious to be wearing a scarf as soon as the calendars declared it fall. It was the thoughts that you thought when you saw the scarf. How many uses It had, covering up any marks that may be on his neck, or what if you tied him to your desk and—

You broke another pencil and sighed.

“Mr. Captor?” His voice was like the dark beaches of Wales, seemingly simple but a surprise in the undertones. His voice was dark purple with undertones of green and blue. You looked up and raised an eyebrow. He was leaning on his desk, the end of his pencil on his lips. Somehow it wasn’t disgusting as when other students chewed on their erasers. Eridan was just…resting it on his bottom lip. He pulled it back and waved it around, “Do you need a pencil?”

You shook your head and tried to keep it casual, looking in your drawers, “No, Eridan I think I have my ow’—“ You looked up pitifully “Uh, yeah.” He made you a disorganized, messy, bad teacher. Though it might have been the extra coffee he lead you to consume. 

Eridan stood up and made his way over to your desk and you noticed that his hips swayed the tiniest bit more than when he walked in the hall and that his lips were pouty. You knew it was full out creepy that you knew that he was walking differently. But then Eridan, pencil back to his lips, stood in front of you and met your eyes as he made his bottom lip jut out a little more. Then he put the pencil down on your desk, “I’ll bring you more later.” He said before sashaying back to his desk.

He had kissed the fucking pencil.

That definitely wasn’t your imagination.

And suddenly it was as if he was highlighting these hinting moments. Some of the things he did were straight out strange, like practically moaning, “Here.” When you took attendance. It annoyed you and you would tell him to stop but it fed your imagination. You wanted him out of your life but you were addicted to hating how you wanted him. Some of the things he did were things you had seen girls do when trying to get the attention of teachers. Batting his eyelashes when you came by his desk, making wide eyes at you when he said, “How do I do this.” And that pout. His lips were so delightful and you wanted to taste them like a flame wants a wick. 

After class one day he lingered, “Do you think I might be able to get a private tutoring lesson? I’m having a little trouble with trigonometric functions…” 

You swear he emphasized the word ‘private’ and you nodded, keeping professional, “Sure. Come in after school at some point and I’ll help you.” 

He smiled a smile formed that extra puff of smoke when you gave in to those little sticks of nicotine. “Thank you.” Eridan looked around to make sure no one was near. He pulled his scarf off and wrapped it around your neck, “Your clothes are kind of ratty and it’s getting colder. I had to get rid of some of mine anyway so..” he shrugged and turned on his heal.

The asshole, treating you like you were some charity.

The asshole, treating you like he cared.


	3. Smokes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From Eridan's Point Of View

Every day your every move is planned to perfection. Each hair on your head is forced into the perfect look of model messiness. Your hips, your shoulders, your head, all placed in a sculpture you had practiced in the mirror, including your pouty lips and large blue eyes. You blessed whoever gave you a more feminine build because it made seduction easier and a lot more fun.

He was starting to catch on.

Mr. Sollux Captor, man of twenty eight who covered a lisp from his younger years that slipped every now and then—absolutely endearing—and the fact that he couldn’t stop looking at you. Your motivation to get up in the morning and actually try in your math class instead of doodling dirty dream pictures in your notebook. He did not suppress, however, the dirty dreams.

Often you woke up at two in the morning with a gasp or a high-pitched moan and his name was painted on your tongue. You cursed teenage hormones, thinking you were quite above your peers at all times, and his striking appearance, piercing your mind.

In class you made sure he noticed you, whether it was being late or snapping random pictures when you shouldn’t. You were playing a juvenile game, but he seemed to be hooked on you. It was hard not to just jump over his desk and straddle him in his big teacher chair and—

It wasn’t just some adolescent crush, your emotions where a whirlpool around him. He agitated you, his ratty sweater vests and the way he treated you…the age you were. That was fair, you suppose. But you wanted him to see you as an equal, talk to you like he talked to his fellow teachers, even if it was a snarky conversation. 

But you also wanted to be dominated.

It was a hard game for you. The only thing you were truly sure of was the fact that you wanted him. 

-

You found him behind the school, in a small nook, during lunch, smoking a cigarette and looking pained. He hadn’t worn the scarf you gave him since that day but he was dressed in a raggedy coat. Teachers salary did not pay to the sake of fashion. 

You slid up next to him, leaning on the cold concrete wall. He looked at you out of the corner of his eye suspiciously and you stared back in earnest, “Can I have a drag of your fag?”

Sollux—Mr. Captor—glared at you, “Are you trying to get me in trouble?”

You shrugged, “Well..” You reached out and took his cigarette from his hand without his consent, “You probably want it. Trouble, I mean. Your childhood was filled with failed pranks and snarky banter that really didn’t get you anywhere, not even the principal’s office. You want trouble, why else would you have my polaroid’s in your desk?” You raised an eyebrow, sucking on the end of the cigarette.

Sollux looked quite surprised and then angry, “You went through my desk?” He didn’t take his cigarette back, “That was a confiscation; you were breaking rules so I took them for safe keeping.” 

You rolled your eyes and gave him a skeptical look, blowing smoke in his direction, “They were my personal ones, of me, in my room with my own cigarettes. Good thing I was fully dressed otherwise you’d be a full on creep.”

“I am not.” Sollux hissed through his teeth, “My job, as a teacher, is to take away any distractions-“ He plucked the smoke out of your hand “-and to make sure you’re learning your mathematics and-“

“I get the fucking point.” You rolled your eyes, “Can I come tomorrow after school for tutoring?” 

“Sure, do whatever the fuck you want.” He grumbled “Better get inside, lunch is almost over.”

You gave him a saccharine smile and turned off, walking with a straight back and a pinch of satisfaction.


	4. Trig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back To Sol.   
> Hey I would totally love any feedback, either here or at my tumblr (winkwonkwanker.tumblr.com)

The art of androgyny was something that Eridan seemed to have worked on well. He wore tunics every Friday, maybe some sort of strange hipster ritual. Either way, you wanted to slide your hands up the edge of the tunic. You shook your head, trying to get rid of the thoughts. You looked out of your window, some clouds gathering on the edge of the horizon. It was late, close to six, and you were tired enough that you wanted to drive into those clouds, rain or snow, and go home. You sighed and stood up to close the blinds.

Weren’t you to be doing something important?

“Mr. Captor?” He was standing at your door, leaning on the doorframe. “I know it’s kind of really late…I had drama practice and all that.” He walked into the room, shutting the door behind him. “Do you still have any time for me? I mean for trig functions and all that…” He placed his hands on the front of your desk and tilted his head. You wanted to punch him. 

This was not allowed.

“Sure, Eridan. Take a seat and I’ll come help you now.” You sighed, getting a pencil out of the jar you now had on your desk. The jar was from honey and the pencils were from the man—boy—himself, Eridan Ampora. 

He was getting his stuff out, placing it all on his desk all too neatly and he looked up at you expectantly. You nodded and got up, pulling a chair up next to him. He scooted a little closer, one of his knees touching yours. Then you noticed that the door was closed and the blinds too, really took that in and realized that this was a suspicious situation. 

“So it’s just this that I’m having trouble with…” Eridan said, not noticing your distraction. You helped him out with the first few problems and finally looked at him with a raised eyebrow, “Eridan, you do not need any help with your trigonometric functions. You do realize this, right?”

He looked up at you all too innocently and shrugged, “I dunno, I didn’t get a good grade on my last trig test so…”

“You did abtho-absolutely fine.” You assured him, “Do you have some sort of ulterior motive?” 

“No! I just wanna be, or seem like I am, on top…” He bit his lip and you could’ve punched him in the face because he was being that obvious. And attractive. 

You composed yourself and shook your head, “You don’t need much help, Eridan. You’re at top of the averages.” You shrugged “I guess if you wanted to be top of the class you’d have to come more after school.”

“I can definitely do that.” He nodded vigorously and got out his math book. You worked with him for a while and noticed that he worked with one hand on his thigh, tapping his knee a little. And then your knee. And then his hand was on your leg and the situation was completely inappropriate. 

“You sure are bold.” You finally said, pushing his hand off your leg. He looked up at you surprised, “I didn’t notice, I apologize.” 

“Do you really? Apologize, I mean.” You asked skeptically. He worried his lip and looked embarrassed, “I just got distracted, Mr. Captor.”

You narrowed your eyes at him but let it slide because honestly you didn’t mind. 

But you were his teacher.

This was all so wrong.

You and Eridan just stared at each other for a few seconds and the tension was cracking.

“I should go…” Eridan turned and put his stuff in his bag, “It’s a little late, so I should be home. Thanks for the help.”

You nodded and stood up, making your way back over to your desk to get your own things. It was dark now, the sun slipping down the edge of the earth. Fall was getting darker and you felt that it expressed your feelings perfectly. “Goodnight, Eridan.”

“Goodnight, Sollux.”

You glanced at him, “Hmm?”

“Goodnight, Mr. Captor.” He gave you that sickly sweet smile, the awful one that tore through your mind and lead you down to more and more broken pencils. “I’ll see you on Monday.” He waved and made his way out of the room.

Your name on his lips was in your lighter that night.


	5. Well...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Sollux) (Some hilarity in my opinion)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

In your own experience, when lips meet in a kiss one of two things can happen. The first is a nice feeling, soft and smooth lips that fit very well with your own. The second is wet lips on yours, lip-gloss or lipstick staining your skin.

You preferred the first sensation and you were now in the second. You were kissing a pretty piece of work who wore too much pink lip stain but was a happy distraction from your ‘problem’ at school. Her name was Feferi Peixes and she was in college, only a few years younger than you. The age difference was appropriate. And you weren’t her teacher.  
Your mind was going off track and you were supposed to be kissing this girl on her fancy couch. It was the third date, and you knew what that meant. But you were leaning away from girls like old trees in a gale. Oh well, Feferi was a catch.

“Sollux!” She pulled back and crossed her arms. “Is something wrong?”

“No, of course not.” You shook your head and put your best smoulder on, “Just thinkin’.”

She giggled and flipped her hair—college girls. You suppressed an eye roll. Feferi crawled forward on the couch, getting on top of you, “Oh, thinking? About what, hey Mister Professor?”

Fuck. If she was gonna talk like that it would be a problem. A big one. Your imagination would be a little too active.

You looked at Feferi, studying her. She was kissing you on and off and you had your eyes open. No one kisses with their eyes open on the third date. You squeezed your eyes shut and grabbed her hips. You were gonna be with her and only think about her. Only her.

Soon your clothes were in a pretty pile on the floor and everything was great, fantastic and amazing. She was on top of you, her hair surrounding you and your kisses were hot. Plain hot, nothing in the vein of fire or fireworks or the summer sun.

Your eyes were open and you to keep your mind open and her legs were open to you and—

This was horrible, awful, terrible. Your face was bright red and she was staring at you like you had popped her fair balloon. What a great metaphor that was for it.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

You started protesting, saying all the cliché things about how this never happened (it really didn’t) and all of that shit. It wasn’t Feferi. It wasn’t her. It was your extreme focus on the idea of distracting yourself.

You picked up your clothes and got dressed again and you planned a fourth date. You could tell she was trying not to giggle.

“Bye Feferi.” You kissed her out the door and she waved as you got into your beat up car. 

Fuck.  
\---  
“Hey Aradia, can I stay at your place tonight?”

“My place? Sure…my roommate might show up drunk or high, if you don’t mind.”

“Ahh, college. I remember the days.”

You and Aradia had grown up together. She was four years younger than you, just about to graduate from college and everything between you was lovely and platonic. You used to babysit her, which mostly just meant you playing on your phone while she watched Land Before Time or whatever animated movie she wanted to see for the millionth time.  
You had coached her through high-school, beaten up her first cheating ex boyfriend, introduced her to recreational drugs for the first time and now you would trust her with your life. And your dark dirty dilemma.

“So why do you need to stay over?”

“I..uhh…I was having some trouble tonight. And I need to talk to you about something.”

“Okay, of course you can talk to me, but we need to hold up one minute. Trouble?”

“Yes trouble. Let’s not talk about it.”

“Wait…wasn’t your date with Feferi tonight? Third date!?”

“Yes. Your point?”

“Oh my god. What happened? Tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me.”

“Aradia-“

“Tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me.”

“Stop! God, you’re annoying.”

“But you love me. Now tell me.”

“I….uhm….I couldn’t get it up…”


	6. Gin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more words means less poetic-ism.  
> feedback would be appreciated!

Red lips that you would never kiss were always a comfort on the cheek.

You were ushered in by Aradia and you swear that if you didn’t know her better you would take her for some sort of mother hen figure. She sets you down on your couch with some tea (she says it’s “too late for coffee, Sollux.”) and all of her questions. Finally you get her to stop pistoling questions at you and she takes a deep breath.

“You know Vriska might be home any minute.” Aradia chastised “You better get talking fast so she doesn’t hear.”

“Oh yeah,” You snort, raising an eyebrow, “Your roommate. And how is this experimental college lesbianism thing going for you?”

She rolled her eyes but there was a slight blush on her cheeks as she told you to drink your tea. Aradia pulled an afghan over her legs and rested a cheek on her hand, “Speaking of lesbianism, are you properly gay now?”

“Aradia, I am not a lesbian.” You always lisp when you’re around her, you think it’s habit. Your tea gets a lovely dose of air its way from the way you talk.

“Yeah, but you’re properly gay now? Or like bi-gay.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” You take your glasses off and set them on the table, grabbing half of the afghan.

“I mean was the reason that you couldn’t stick the dick because Feferi has a—“

“My god. Can you be any less tactful?”

She pursed her lips and gestured for you to actually drink your tea instead of lisping all over the top of it. You rolled your eyes and complied, listening to her babble on.

“Okay so you are really kinda gay. Any men you have your eyes on?” Aradia asked, picking up her own cup, “Any boy toys?”

You looked over at her slowly, hunched over your mug. “Well I did want to talk to you…”

“Sollux! You have a boy crush and you’re going on dates with Feferi!?” She covered her mouth with her hand, laughing a little, “How funny. Your own little web of lies.”

“Oh it get’s worse.” You put the cup down, “Have any alcohol? I could use some of that right now.”

“In the bottom cabinet,” Aradia pointed. You got up and retrieved a bottle of gin, taking it back and pouring it into your empty tea mug. You took a large gulp as he sat back down.

“Okay wow. Straight gin. This must be good. The web gets worse?” 

“Quite.” You basically downed the whole mug and waited for it to start sinking in. “Know how I teach bratty, snotty high school students? Well there is this kid, so fuckin’ annoying and awful I wanna rip that polaroid outta his hands and the scarf off his fucking neck.” 

“And? What, is it his father? Some big business man?”

“No. I also wanna tie him down with the scarf and keep his naughty polaroids.”

“No! Sollux! Captor!” Aradia hit you with a small pillow, “No!”

“Unfortunately…” You grinned in a sloppy manner, “Yes.”

Aradia stared at you for what felt like forever. Finally she seemed to have let the information stew enough for her to answer properly.

“How old?”

“Seventeen.”

Another staring match. 

Her eyebrows were practically in her hair, “Seventeen. Seventeen! Sollux Captor!”

You nodded, “What the fuckity fuck am I supposed to do?”

Aradia took a deep breath and stared down at her tea. She crossed her legs under the afghan and you leaned in, “What do?”

She glanced at you, “Hold on. I’m thinking. He’s not shown interest, has he?”

“He kissed a pencil and put his hand on my leg during a private tutoring session.” You poured yourself another mug. “Is that interest?” 

Aradia nodded slowly, “Hell yes that’s interest…well he’ll be eighteen soon, so could you wait?”

“Still his teacher.”

“Right.”

Silence, save for the cogs you could hear turning in Aradia’s head. 

You decided to help her, “I don’t wanna wait, ‘Radia. I wanna get with him, I wanna get him over my desk and f—“

“Ok, hush.” Aradia held her hand up, “Let me just think. First off, this is disgusting. Or it would be if you weren’t you. You have a good head on your shoulders. Don’t be gross. You   
aren’t. Hmm…”

“Aradia, I wanna do him. But I’m his teacher.” You slurred, laughing a little.

Aradia shrugged, “Fine then. You decide what’s best for you.”

The door slammed open and you looked up to see a tall, skinny girl swagger in with a slight sway. She closed the door and smirked, “Hey Aradia. Captor.”

Aradia glanced at you and shifted around a little, “Vriska. Anyway, Sollux—you have to decide for yourself whats good for you and wha—“

Suddenly she was interrupted by Vriska, who had been just walking by, but took a pit stop at the couch, grabbing Aradia’s face and kissing her viciously. Stranger things had happened. Aradia didn’t like Vriska but she had kept her as a roommate because apparently she got a good fuck out of the girl.

Vriska finally pulled away and sauntered back into some back room, taking the gin with her. 

Aradia wiped her mouth and looked at you, “And what’s bad for you.”


	7. Flower

A small flower. 

Yellow with a small center and only a bit of scent. It sat on the edge of your desk in a little sake cup that you had found in an old vintage shop while you were digging for a way to stand out.

You leaned forward to check that it had enough water and gave it a small smile. Other students were looking at you with their eyebrows raised but that’s exactly what you wanted. 

Feferi and you had been sitting outside on the last sunny day of the year when you noticed it in the corner of her yard. You lived in a rich neighborhood and she was the only neighbor that was close to your age, even if it was by a few years. You two were as thick as thieves and she was the one who had first told you you were mature for your age. Things were changing, however. You saw a different side of her, one that was hidden behind her lip-gloss curve. You weren’t sure how you felt about it but on that day things were back to when you were fourteen and she was just turning eighteen, talking about sex and love and all the things you wanted in the world. A simple day.

She saw the flower and stood up to pick it. You followed her and leaned down, picking it’s little twin. Feferi smiled at you and twirled the flower in between her fingers. You smiled back and stood straight with her, waltzing back to the patio. 

“So I’ve been seeing this guy…think it’s cheesy to give him a flower?” She asked, sitting to take a sip of lemonade.

You shrugged, “Last of the season…why not?”

And now you were admiring your matching flower on your desk, having carried it around with you all day.  
The door opened and Sollux – Mr. Captor, rushed in, back turned to you. He was scribbling something on the board, “Late, late, I know. Coffee break and all. You kids not turning in your homework doesn’t fu— Apparently his had been a long weekend because he did not look particularly well and when he turned around you guessed that he was just off nursing a hangover. All that looked fresh on Mr. Captor was a yellow bloom on his chest.

You squinted at it and glanced down at your own.

/“So I’ve been seeing this guy…”/ 

Fucking hell.

 

What a wonderful coincidence. This just made the game a whole lot more fun. You liked a scandal. You liked a drama. And now you had both in one.

Not that you wanted to get caught.

Anyway, your plan was still in motion. This was an advantage.

Lucky little yellow carnation.

The lesson was a regular sort of one; all the same shit it was on Mondays. Your brain trudged through it and only stood at attention at the end of class.

“A question for you all…I’ll tie this in in a moment.” Sollux coughed, leaning on his desk. “Pathos and ethos, all of that. If you want something in life but it would be wrong to take it…would you? How do you decide what is good and what is bad? Your English teacher and I were talking…those in AP are to write an essay on it. Just an announcement for those in the class.” 

You nodded and smiled. Oh this would be fun, especially if Sollux was going to read it. You would make him take what was wrong.

As the bell rang your peers rushed out, going back to small ugly homes and small ugly lives. You stayed behind a little, packing up slowly. You grabbed your sake cup and flower, walking up to Mr. Captor with your bountiful confidence. He turned with a quirked eyebrow and you smiled coyly,reaching forward with slim fingers and plucking the carnation out of his buttonhole, replacing it with yours. He looked absolutely stunned, staying quiet. As you were walking out of the door you dropped the other flower—Feferi’s flower—in the trash. 

“I just thought that one was looking a little dead.”


	8. Lolita

Lolita.

He was too old and too male to be a nymphet but he suddenly was your Lolita.

You remember reading the book a few years back but had to pick it up again after Karkat Vantas, the grumpy English teacher and your closest friend next to Aradia, had thrust Eridan’s essay into your hands with a grunt. You took it back to your messy apartment that smelled of the beeswax candles you were always given on holidays, coffee and occasionally the burn of a regretfully lit cigarette.

He was luring you in slowly, Eridan was. A particular passage caught your attention.

‘ As in the book Lolita by Vladimir Vladimirovich Nabokov, one is convinced that the horrifying act of falling for a twelve-year-old is acceptable, even though the narrator himself describes it as disturbing and perverse. However in his craft, the way of his words, Humbert Humbert somehow manages to draw one into the illusion that he is really in love with little Dolores Haze and that it isn’t a crime. He loves her so much, is so obsessed with her, that the reader sees how dreadfully sad it is that he is forgiven for such a thing. Now is it because his love and lust is true or is it because of how well-crafted the book is?

The difference is small. If one wants something so badly that they are willing to risk their reputation, career, even kill for it then it must be worth something. But an illusion is created by a mask of beauty and glorification of the situation. 

The question posed was simply ‘How does one decide which is good and which is bad?’ The answer is simple. Don’t. Take what is wanted if the consequence isn’t feared.’

You could swear that he was talking directly to you. You predicted that he was convincing himself too…you couldn’t be wrong…

The flower, the hand on your leg, the childish batting-of-eyelashes and all that. 

Aradia was right. You had to decide.

The librarian who had checked you out of the library looked at you suspiciously and you flipped her off as you walked out. Really professional of you, you were aware.

Lolita.

You couldn’t put it down. Not for the twist but just for the way it showed you what you wanted. To your relief the age difference in your life wasn’t as awful as stepfather to stepdaughter. 

Not that it was an excuse, you reminded yourself. 

But oh how much this made your want for the writer of the essay in your room so much hotter and stronger. 

You and Feferi had set up another date and it was just as awful as the last because you had brought along Lolita and she was annoyed that you kept picking it up. The two of you hardly kissed that night and things were looking worse and worse for you.

You blamed Eridan, of course. He was distracting you. 

You did love the way he did it, though. At night you would curl up and his messy hand writing would scratch onto the insides of your eyelids and you couldn’t help but slip a hand under the covers as his pencil drew up a version of his naked self, flustered and sweaty for want.

In the morning you hated yourself for it and hated him more and accepted the fact that you might always go on this cycle, hating yourself and hating him and wanting, wanting, wanting, loving wanting.

You weren’t to be deceived, however.

You did not love him. You did not hate him. 

You lusted for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry it's so short im trash wow  
> Naughty naughty!  
> Feedback would be great!!!


	9. Time

Three hundred forty-five thousand and six hundred seconds.

Five-thousand, seven hundred and sixty minutes.

Ninety-six hours.

Four days.

That’s how long it took.

**Four days.**

You felt every day pass by with a dripping call of anticipation. Something was coming and you could feel it.

The yellow flower was dead by Friday but you kept it in the bottom drawer of your desk. How many days would it take for you to work up the words, the actions, to break your own law and just take the boy?

Friday was lavender. A foggy morning right as Winter brushed his lip’s against Fall’s cheek. The clouds hung low in the sky, promise of a thunderstorm. Fall thunderstorm? You shook your head as you left your apartment that morning. It was going to be a different sort of day. The static of lightning fueled your confidence and you needed that. The day was bleak as usual until your last class came and he waltzed in with his usual manor.

Lavender mornings and the edge of winter meant layers for Eridan. You watched him curiously. First came his coat, buttons undone with precision. Then the undercoat, then his scarf.

His scarf?

Usually the boy kept it on, some strange habit. It was comfortably warm in your classroom but he powered through it and kept it his scarf on most days.

But there he was, scarfless. Quite a different sort of day.

**Ninety-six hours.**

All of the teachers wanted to just take Friday off as Monday was a teacher work day. You and Karkat had planned out a night out and everyone was leaving seconds after the students.

What was another hour at school?

No one would notice you were gone. You could just say you took the night in. Karkat would be too drunk. Strider would be too horny. The rest wouldn’t care.

It would just be a few hours gone and lost.

If only you could work your courage up. You were burning enough to see through the fear of anything.

**Five-thousand, seven hundred and sixty minutes.**

Your class lasted ninety painful minutes. As it was the last day of the week the students were restless. On Fridays seventeen and eighteen year olds could act like toddlers on candy. They were ready for the weekend. Their pot smoking, sloppy tongued, dull weekend.

In those slow minutes of waiting your eyes were just caught on some sort of string to Eridan’s.

He had the shadow of a mischievous smile on his face and a glimmer in his eyes. His eyes were lavender just like the morning.

You glanced out the window. The sky was like it had been at seven and it as almost three.

You were ready for this storm. You were ready to stop holding back.

But the law.

But fuck the law.

Your fucking fickle Geminous attitude.

What were you going to do?

The bell rang and you realized you didn’t have time to decide. Apparently Eridan had a plan, though. As everyone else filed out he took his time packing up, as usual. He left his bag on his desk with his coat and his scarf. He made his way over to the door and shut it.

You sank down into your chair. What the hell was going on now?

He closed the blinds.

The curtains.

“Mr. Captor…”

“Eridan?”

“I think you know what I need.”

“You need something?”

“Yes.” The way he said it was short and sharp. He turned to look at you.

**Three hundred forty-five thousand and six hundred seconds.**

Three hundred forty-five thousand and six hundred seconds and your math wasn’t wrong. You were a math teacher, you should know. That was four days. It took you four days.

In ten seconds he was across the room.

In five he had his hands on your shoulders, pushing you back so your chair reclined a little.

In three he was in your lap.

Your brain couldn’t even calculate how quickly your lips met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally 
> 
> Okay! So feedback is great as always. But it is most important now because I need to know if I should put the frick-frack/heavy petting in the fic itself or make little spinoffs. Please tell me.


	10. Thunderstorm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A kind of...package on how this all started. Still trying to decide if the smut should go in here or in a separate fic kind of deal.   
> Because there really is going to be a lot of smut.

Hot skin under the sound of the beginning of a thunderstorm, lacing the scene with a shadow.

You lifted your hands and rested them on his cheeks, moving your hips and getting closer. He had his hands on your slim hips and pulled you even closer. You wanted to just meld your bodies together.

He was so warm.

You whined a bit as he bit your bottom lip and you opened your mouth the tiniest bit. His tongue darted out to brush the tip of yours and you opened your mouth a little wider, following his tongue and licking his bottom lip.

Your hips moved a little more as well as your mouth and you had to take a moment to pull back and breath, moving your head the other way to continue kissing him.

“Eridan—hold a moment.”

You pulled back a bit, “What?”

“We need to…talk for a moment.”

You cocked your head and gave him your flirtiest smile, “But we could be doing so many more interesting things with our mouths.”

Sollux…Mr. Captor…He rolled his eyes, “Seriously, Eridan. You can’t just jump onto my lap and start making out with me. What is going on here?”

You moved your hands to his shoulders, “You kissed me back, rather enthusiastically might I add. Come on…you and I both know that there is something going on here.”

“I have no feelings for you, Eridan. I’m your teacher. I’m almost eleven years older than you.” He sighed.

“I have no feelings for you either. Just a whole lot of lust.” You purred, leaning forward for another kiss.

“Okay I can agree to that. But this is…I’m going to get in a whole lot of trouble.” He shook his head, looking away from you.

“I turn eighteen in February. And I graduate this year.”

“No the point.” He huffed. You raised an eyebrow and he continued, “I can’t just go along for another six months without doing what I want—“

“With me.”

Sollux rolled his eyes again, “Yes, with you…”

“Look…” You tilted your head and nipped his bottom lip, lowering your voice, “How about you just kiss me back, lets fool around a bit and just don’t think about it?”

He almost looked frightened but also quite eager. Slowly he nodded and tugged on your hips. You smiled in satisfaction and wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him with vigor.

Minutes of your own little paradise went by before you realized that you needed to let go for a bit. You were going to make this a game. You pulled back and kissed Sollux’s neck

“I need to go…I’m off work…” He breathed, rubbing the small of your back. “We’re going to get caught…”

“Uh-uh.” You hummed, nipping his skin. He was so warm.

“Seriously.”

“Fine.” You drew back and got off his lap, moving around the class to get your things. He sighed and settled back in his chair, watching you leave. You guessed he wouldn’t be getting up anytime soon.

\---

Next time you saw him was in class. He stopped calling you ‘Eridan’ and started with this whole business of only addressing you by your last name. Frankly it was pretty hilarious.

You were always waiting for anytime you could see him alone. All you had done so far was kiss, snog, makeout, smooch, all of that. It was really grand.

You had him wrapped around your little finger.

\---

-Sollux Captor-

It was all mouth and no feelings. You were ready.

You had wanted him and now you really had him.

All you had to wait for was any free time.

All of your good judgment had been lost in that thunderstorm.


	11. Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CONTAINS A Blow Job (But M enough)

The first snow swirled around a small figure outside of the school. It was a pretty picture.

Pretty picture, pretty picture. That was what you thought about when you saw him from afar. Closer you could see that he was just made of a web of secrets and confidence and you were addicted.

It was a Wednesday. You and Eridan hadn’t done much save for when he took a few minutes to press his lips to yours as he was late for his after school classes. Wednesday for you meant paper grading and for him it was paper writing.

The first snow came mid-morning and it was heavy, coming down thick. School was let out early.

The students were gone. The teachers were holed up or leaving.

Eridan was standing in the cold with his polaroid camera, taking pictures.

You sighed and looked back down at your papers. The wind howled and you only made it through about five simple problems when you heard the door open and close. You didn’t look up. You could feel the cold wafting off of him. You pushed away from your desk and looked at him.

Eridan smiled. His cheeks and the tip of his nose were red from the cold.

“Hi.” His coat dropped to the floor.

“Hi.” You replied. He pulled his scarf off and approached you, climbing onto your lap as usual.

The first kiss was cold. You liked the contrast on your skin.

“Sollux.” He whispered “Are we alone?”

You nodded slowly. He bit his lip and took your glasses off, leaning back to put them on your desk. You raised an eyebrow and he shrugged, connecting you once again.

He warmed up fast as your hands moved up his shirt and his tongue stroked yours. His hips moved back and forth and you were soon in a frenzy. He just pulled back when you took his shirt off but otherwise he was basically glued to your mouth.

He unbuttoned your shirt nimbly and trailed a hand down to your belt buckle. He smirked against your lips and started moving down, kissing your neck a few times before climbing off of you and settling in between your knees. He fit under your desk pretty well.

“What the hell are you doing?” You scoffed. Eridan looked up at you with those bit lavender eyes and reached up to unbuckle your belt. The bulge in your pants was prominent and he licked his lips and he pulled your trousers down.

You couldn’t believe him at all. How was he real?

“Eri—Eridan what are you doing?” You stammered as he stroked you through your boxers.

“You know bloody well what I’m doing.” He answered with snark, “You want it. You’ve been thinking about it. So stop looking at me like you’ve never had one before and fuckin’ enjoy it.”

Apparently you liked when he got commanding and he noticed because that fucker smirked like he had won the prize for most cunning.

Everything was slowed down for a moment as he took your cock out of boxers and gently kiss the tip, looking up at you like he was the most innocent, pure, virginal person in the world. You would’ve rolled your eyes but it was hard when he started giving you the best head of your life.

Maybe it was because his tongue was velvet or because his hair was soft between your fingers or because you finally realized that you were addicted to him. Whichever it was it happened to be making you harder and your vocal chords were suddenly in session which wasn’t something that happened during sexual encounters.

“Eridan…fuck…” You breathed after a line of groans. He was like some sort of pornstar, licking up and down your cock like a professional before he took part of it in his mouth. Eridan moaned, sending vibrations to your core, which tightened for a moment.

“Eridan…keep it up like that I’m going fast.” You hissed. You squeezed your eyes shut. His head bobbed and he was taking a really great try at deep throating you. Your brain just wanted to know if this was actually happening because your dreams had never been this close to reality.

“Fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck-Eridan holy shit.” You tried to pull him away but he stayed on, hollowing his cheeks and swallowing as you came in his mouth.

He pulled back finally and smiled up at you, licking his lips again, “Grade?”

“This isn’t extra credit.”

“Grade!”

You rolled your eyes, “You’re ridiculous.”

He shrugged and stood up, pulling his shirt back on and collecting his winter things. “Better watch that mouth of yours or you won’t be getting any more of mine.”

You knew he was lying. He wanted you.

Regardless of this as he was walking out you muttered a contrite, “’A’ plus.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahaha 'snow' hahaha im so mature  
> if anyone needs me to change the rating please shoot me a message.  
> Feedback always much appreciated!


	12. Technician Booth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another BJ  
> Basically it's gonna be a whole good bit of smut with some plot sprinkled in and then back to plot.

Winter was in full swing, Thanksgiving come and gone with a boring time and lots of beeswax candles from your relatives. Your house smelled like those candles and a little something akin to desperation. The holidays were fine enough, when you were home you spent time with Aradia and had a few dates with Feferi. Aradia said it was cruel of you to lead Feferi on. You said it was cruel of her to point it out.

“So any news on your boy problem?” Aradia asked one grey day as you were playing a lazy game of chess. You shrugged, “We kiss a lot and he blew me under my desk.”

“What!?” She knocked your queen over and looked at you in shock. You rolled your eyes and countered her move, “What’s the problem? We have an agreement…”

She shook her head and took out one of your rooks. “I really just don’t know how to feel about this.”

“I just don’t think too hard about it.”

“Is that what he told you to do?”

“Yeah.”

For the first time in your teaching career you couldn’t wait for school to start again.

On the first day back Eridan wasted no time. As soon as four o-clock rolled around and he was done with whichever after school program he had signed up for you found yourself dragged into the theatre, up into the lights and sound room where no one would catch you. You pressed him up against the wall, his legs around your waist in a second.

You kissed like you wanted to start a fire, his hands gripping your shirt and pulling it out from being lazily tucked in. He really liked to explore the skin of your torso and your back. Eridan was an interesting creature.

“I missed you—“ He breathed in between a kiss. You stopped and pulled away a bit. He looked confused, chasing your lips for a moment before coming back into reality. For the first time you saw him blush in embarrassment. It was just a dusting of pink on his cheeks. You raised an eyebrow and he shook his head, “I mean I—I missed this?”

You would take that. No time to think about the technicalities of his wording, you figured.

Your mind was jumping around, body excited when Eridan made you sit in the technicians chair so he could settle in between your knees again. You shook your head, broken protests falling from your mouth in vain. He always won and you knew that he knew that you couldn’t resist.

His mouth on your skin was something you had missed. Your mind focused unlike the last encounter and you knew you were in command this time. A simple tug of his hair and he would dip his head farther down on your cock, sliding his tongue on the underside and flattening it out.

He was amazing.

You were never very vocal, as mentioned before, and never very controlling. Eridan undid all of this, making you groan and moan and say things you didn’t even know you would.

“Touch yourself.”

“Hmm?” He looked up at you, a little confused it seemed.

“Keep that fucking mouth moving and touch yourself, Eridan.” Your tone was astonishingly sharp, surprising yourself and apparently the boy in between your knees too. But he obliged, hands going down to palm himself. He closed his eyes and you really hoped that the walls of the booth were soundproof because _damn_ that boy could wail. Even with his mouth full.

He pulled his cock out of his skinny jeans and started pumping it. You couldn’t stand it.

Amazingly you came early.

This time the build-up was different. He pulled back when you stuttered out the fact that you were about to blast. He looked up at you with hazy eyes, jerking himself and biting his lip.

“O-oohh Sollux!” He moaned and didn’t seem surprised or offended or disgusted as your cum was on his face. In fact he seemed pleased with himself. Freak.

You watched Eridan touch himself and say your name and come over your shoes and you decided that you didn’t care about your shoes getting half-ruined because _wow_

_\---_

After you two were quiet, getting dressed again. He got some tissues to clean his face off and you your shoes.

“…you missed me…”

“I missed…no, that’s not what I meant.”

You two had quite small conversations after.

This was the whole of it besides ‘goodbye’.

Bringing it up was a bad decision.

He was a bad decision.


	13. Booth Pt.2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Full Sex  
> I write smut in a different sort of way okay forgive me  
> feedback please <3

As Christmas crackled through the air and the hallways you got ready for something a little hotter.

Once you saw your peers going at it in the halls you decided that you really hated mistletoe. Regardless you still kept the sprig of it in your pocket. You had afterschool plans, of course.

You’d set up a sort of hide and go seek. It was fun for you, this game with Mr. Captor. Your slip up from the other day was shoved into the back of your mind, you wouldn’t think about it. It wasn’t something you cared for, reality.

You heaved a sigh and leaned on the wall outside of his classroom. He probably knew you were coming. You were ready for one of the last steps. Of course Sollux would have to find you first. You had spent about an hour creating the trail.

“Sollux Captor!” You declared, strutting into his class. He looked around, as if someone might find you. Fortunately they would not.

“Eridan Ampora.” He snickered. You were on a strange name basis. You would only call him ‘Sollux’ when you were alone and ‘Sol’ was only something you said to your…friends. Yourself.

You leaned forward and kissed him, sucking his bottom lip. He reached forward to bring you closer but you pulled back, “Uh-uh. If you want me you’ll have to come find me.”

“You’re ridiculous.” He rolled his eyes. You dropped the sprig of mistletoe into his lap and he sighed, “Alright, I’ll play.”

“You know you want to.”

“Unfortunately I do.” He shook his head, “I’m damned.”

“You are. Now just follow the trail.” You smiled and pointed at the mistletoe and turned around, making your way out of the classroom.

First was another mistletoe, tacked on a board.

Down the hall you dropped your coat.

Then another mistletoe.

Next your shoes pointed the right way.

More mistletoe.

You dropped different bits of your clothing through the halls for him to pick up. You hoped he would take care of that.

Finally you were alone in the technician booth again, just in your boxers. You leaned against the wall and waited.

It took him around nine minutes to find you. You think he probably knew the outcome anyway.

Everything was slow.

He locked the door and turned the lights of the booth off. The only light came from what was lighting up the stage.

He touched your ribs and wrapped his arms around your slim waist and then down to grab your ass which made you squeak a little. You played it off by kissing him hard, wasting no time in getting your tongue into his mouth. You licked the spot under his top lip, a trick you’d learned, and that made him shiver a little.

He sat down in the chair and pulled you into his lap. It was going to be a weird kind of position, but you didn’t mind.

“Sollux…” You breathed, unbuttoning his shirt. You undid his tie. His belt. His button.

“Eridan?” He leaned in to kiss your neck and you shuddered. He sucked on your pulse and nibbled it a little and you let out a little moan.

His hands were warm. As was the skin under his clothes, which you had helped him shed.

You were on fire.

Soon you were both just heat and skin pressed together, hard breathing and droopy eyelids. You let him slip your underthings off and you let him watch you slip a hand between your legs and finger yourself for him. Your moans were uncontrolled.

“Oh my god Eridan…” He groaned, kissing you to shut himself up. You were both a little delirious.

Finally you pulled away, “I’m ready. I want you really badly, Sollux.”

He nodded and you lifted yourself up a little.

You hid your head in the crook of his neck and whined as his cock pressed against you. It was amazing.

Silence for a moment.

Suddenly it was a flurry of movement as you both remembered that you didn’t need each other in any sort of way besides a physical need. You were suddenly his little fucktoy and you loved it, moving up and down as fast as you possibly could.

Your moaning was off the charts.

You were melting against each other and your reality came down in pieces around you and you couldn’t tell how long it lasted.

The only thing you knew was that your orgasm was one of the best.

\---

It was quiet as you got dressed again.

He was your teacher.

You were his student.

You kissed him hard to brush away all of the awkward that was filling the room. 


	14. Lolly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some extra porn.  
> spanking, yeah

Twice in the technicians booth, once in the costume closet and once a quickie in your room after hours.

Eridan Ampora was the sex bomb.

Two blowjobs for you, one manual in the janitors closet and you had brought him to with your mouth too.

Eridan Ampora was the sex BOMB.

You sounded like some sort of college dropout and you rolled your eyes at yourself. You opened a drawer from your desk and took out a new pencil as your last class filed in. He smirked at you as he sat down and made a vulgar motion with his hands. You rolled your eyes again.

Halfway through class Eridan was sucking on a lollipop. It was blue-purple and oblong and you knew that he had some sort of ulterior motive. He always had an ulterior motive.

At first he just innocently sucked it like any other student might candy.

Only then did you realize what he was doing. You knew that look in his eyes. Like he was the purest guy on the earth but he had dirty intentions.

You glared at him as he licked the lollipop as if he were, well, licking your dick.

Don’t think about that! You chastised yourself over and over and as the class period went on it was not working because Eridan was _really_ showing off. It was amazing and awful.

You really liked the way his lips fit around your cock.

You really liked the way he looked at you when he was sucking your dick.

You promptly sat down in your chair at your desk and glared right at Eridan, “Bookwork for the rest of the class, page four-thirty-seven.”

He winked at you and finished the lolly. You looked down at your papers and ignored the bulge in your pants.

Of course he wasn’t going to make it that easy.

“Mr. Captor? I can you come explain this to me?” He was practically a purring sex kitten. You shook your head, “You’ll have to come up here, Ampora.”

He got up and swung his hips as per usual as he walked up to the desk. He stood next to you and leaned down to show you the problem that he needed help with. He obviously needed no help because his fingers were trailing on the crotch of your pants. He was kind of magic, making your harder and harder by the moment.

You stayed quiet and just pointed to the seat in the middle of the classroom that was empty. Eridan sighed and made his way back to it. You had to sit there for a while with a raging fire in your pants and no way to quench it but to snap, “Ampora. Come see me after class.”

“Yes Mr. Captor.” He sang. Bastard child.

\---

“You wanted to see me?” Just as the bell rang you were ready to choke him because of the hell he had put you through.

“Close the door.” You snapped “No meetings for me, no drama for you.”

He laughed lightly and closed the door, making his way back to you. “Did I do something wrong?” He asked in a high pitched voice.

You really wanted to choke him.

Or at least slap him…

“Do I need to be punished?”

 “Oh, so this is a kinky thing? You get me up during class and expect me to do nothing about it?” You snapped. He shrugged and reached into his pocket, throwing a small bottle of lube at you. You glared at him, “You really want this then?”

He nodded slowly, already taking off his clothes. This boy was a problem.

An amazing problem.

“Hurry up, you can keep the shirt on.” You suddenly felt powerful, controlling him. When Eridan had finally dropped trou and was looking at you for further instruction you pointed to your desk, “Hands and knee’s, no boxers. Now.”

He nodded enthusiastically and got onto your desk, clearing it off. The masochistic bastard was already half-hard.

He was on his elbows, looking back at you pleadingly with his ass in the air.

“You’re a thirsty bitch, you know that?” You scoffed, lifting a hand to trail it over Eridan’s rump. He was trembling. You had that small idea, slapping him…

“Ah-!” He whimpered when the first blow came down on his ass. You raised an eyebrow, “You really are a masochist, huh?”

You raised your hand and watched him shiver with anticipation. He cried out again, pale skin a little red. If he didn’t like it you would stop but Eridan was getting harder with each sting of your hand against his skin.

“Again—oh fuck.” Eridan breathed, head down between his knees. He bit his lip and a small shift in his hips indicated that he definitely wanted more.

You spanked him again and the reaction from his vocals was priceless, made you wish you could’ve recorded it. You wanted him bad.

After a you had formed a few nice red handprints on Eridan he was begging for you, cock erect and drooling on your desk. You wrinkled your nose and got behind him, lubing up quick. He was all stretched out because apparently he had been planning this for a while.

You got behind Eridan on the desk and he was whining like a child, “Please, please, please Sollux please just fuck me please.” And on and on and you really couldn’t control yourself but to simply thrust in because you could?

“You’re such a whore, Eridan.” You hissed and the reaction--

He was a loud moaner and you wondered if he was keeping it down because there might be people around.

You were in a sweet hell.


	15. Three Thoughts

A thought: Time is a concept made up by men, something so depended on for centuries. Wake up, get to work, wait for work to end, go home, go to sleep. It doesn’t stop but for those with beating hearts, good intentions and someone to stop for.

You had a beating heart, of course.

Your intentions were never good, never bad. You lived on the path of right and wrong and sometimes you would bend the lines a bit (And Eridan, but that was a lewd innuendo you wouldn’t tolerate yourself to laugh at.)

You never had anyone that might cause time to stop for you. Just flighty bouts of lust and sometimes deep occurrences of friendship.

All was well until you found that withered flower in between the pages of Lolita. Your mind was clouded that night. You had cut things off with Feferi though she was still puppying around, apparently really wanting you. You had talked with Aradia on the phone on the way home, stopping at the ABC store as she prattled on about her annoyance with your affair. You looked through the beer, moving on to brandy, then vodka and finally you picked up a bottle of absinth. You had never favored absinth but you needed a bit of a forgetting.

The flower was against your sweaty chest in the morning. You didn’t remember much of the last night besides a lot of babbling to yourself and the absinth bottle.

You picked the dead yellow token off your skin. It happened to stick right above your heart. You put it down on your bedside table and thought it a bit girly to be keeping the fucking thing but it was a simple passing thought. You picked up Lolita and growled at it, shoving it under your bed.

You got dressed and drank your coffee up quickly. A comb dragged through your hair and a quick teeth brushing and you were ready to get to school. Your hangover was nursed by greasy fast food.

Only when you got to the high school did you realize that there were a few messages on your phone. Weather updates. School was cancelled for those who couldn’t get there somehow.

This meant you would probably only have a few students in each class.

You hadn’t even noticed the ice as you drove.

The day was like a snap in the cold air. Quick and sharp.

Your first three classes were smooth. You liked teaching ten or twelve students instead of thirty. It was meditative, in a sense. The heat was on, the chalk on your board was fresh and the snow was growing thicker.

You wondered about Eridan a moment over your lunch break. You were distracted by the cold crawling into your ribcage, however, and buttoned up. You figured he would have fun undoing the layers of your clothing later.

Another thought: The winter is simply a time to find what makes you warm inside.

You thought this was just your mind wanting hot chocolate or coffee or a warm honey bun.

You were proven wrong a few minutes later.

The day started to slow down as fourth period approached. You felt anticipation in your stomach and it knotted, twisting around.

You had never been so excited to see him.

You had not really been excited for anything.

As usual, you blamed it on the coffee.

A last thought: Denial starts when truth shows itself.

It was a small feeling, only just growing in the bottom of your heart. You weren’t aware of it at that time. You tried to push the feeling back into the dark of your soul so you might now have to know about it.

It was a warm feeling, like you had swallowed a coal. It ignited inside of you when he walked through your door, making your heart jump at the heat.

The clock ceased it’s methodic ticking for a moment when he looked at you with the kind of smile you only ever saw in your dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the porn ceases!
> 
> feed me with your praise and happiness please! ((thats writer speak for comment, review, etc))


	16. Two Conversations

The way that your ears took in the sound of a cheering crowd made your heart swell. You bowed and as the curtains closed your Clara threw her arms around you. You hugged her back and kissed her cheeks and the Sugarplum fairies all circled around the both of you, congratulating the both of you and each other.

Everything was beautiful in the ballet.

Only Feferi and a few other people close to you knew you did ballet. It embarrassed you and you did not want to perpetuate stereotypes.

You and the ballerina’s laughed as you changed into your proper clothes. You stretched out and checked yourself out in the mirror, making sure your belly was as flat as ever.

When the curtains re-opened there were only a few parents left to give their children bouquets. Feferi was there for you, holding a small bouquet of lavender. You smiled and jumped of the stage. She was a good friend, really.

“Thanks Fef.” You smiled, tucking the sprigs into your shirt pocket. “It was good of you to come out…”

“Well yeah, I wouldn’t miss it!” She giggled and hugged you, “You were amazing. I wanted to talk to you anyway.” She took your hand and you made your way out of the downtown theatre. There was a small café across the street. You sat at a table in the window and both got cappuccinos. Your duffel bag was stuffed under the table and so was any contempt you might have for her.

“So do you have a steady boyfriend or girlfriend yet?” Feferi asked, face sunny as usual. You shook your head, shoulders drooping a little, “Not really. Just a fling.”

“Ooh fun!” She giggled “Unfortunately Sollux and I are…in a constant rough patch.”

“Oh?” You raised an eyebrow, ears perking. “And why is that?”

She sighed, taking her coffee from the server, “Well…I mean we haven’t solidified the relationship but it’s not like we aren’t in one! And we haven’t…” She leaned forward, “We haven’t had sex yet. And I know that it’s not that important…but it kind of is….”

“Maybe he’s asexual?” Such lies you would sometimes tell.

“No, I know he’s not. I asked. He isn’t.”

“I don’t know.” You shrugged “Maybe it’s just not the right time. Maybe you should break up?”

“No…I don’t think so…He is really distant lately…” She sipped her drink, “I feel kind of protective over him. Like, I think that someone is stealing him away. So I want to win.”

“Is that protection or possession?” You scoffed. Now you felt protective over Sollux. You shouldn’t have, everything between you was simply physical.

That made you think too much. You had fucked up.

You hadn’t missed him.

Not at all.

Denial was a son of a bitch.

“Eridan…Eridan!”

“Hmm?”

“You’re not even paying attention!”

“Sorry…I’m just tired from ballet. My last performance, the most demanding.” You spooned some foam off of the top of your cappuccino, avoiding Feferi’s eye contact. You suddenly needed some headache pills or maybe a good dose of reality.

You wouldn’t take the latter. You enjoyed being in your own little world.

\----

“Vris I need you to come over. Bring weed.” She was your supplier. You took out your energy on each other often and it was pretty good, hate sex.

“Eridan I’m kind of busy right now.” Her voice was annoyed and you could heard some sheets shifting in the background.

“Eridan? Wait…give me the phone.” The voice was unfamiliar, a smooth female voice. Pensive. Vriska seemed annoyed and you heard a sharp, “You want back? Give me the phone.”

It was thrown, apparently.

“Vris, why do you have your phone on during se—“

“Actually, I’m Aradia. Her roommate. I recognized your name. My friend Sollux has mentioned you before.”

“Oh?” You moved to sit up, crossing your legs. How intruiging.

“Eridan….Ampora? Eridan Ampora. Age seventeen, class four-B with a mathematics grade point average of three point seven?”

“How do you know all that about me?” You asked slowly.

“Like I said,” She paused a moment and you could tell it was to smile. “He talks about you.”

The phone went dead and you fell back onto your bed.

You had a lot to think about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and it starts
> 
> THanks to all you beauts who leave comments please do it constantly


	17. One Decision

You skirted around each other for around a week.

You couldn’t resist him, however. And he wanted you. This was clear.

For some reason things had become more complicated. He always looked down when he walked past you and you…

You were trying to sort things out.

You couldn’t fall for a student.

You definitely couldn’t fall for Eridan Ampora.

The week was slow and ticking and time stopping. You stayed late on Friday to see if Eridan would want to have a little tryst but it wasn’t a very solid rendezvous as he hadn’t come or even looked at you but a few times in the week. It was the beginning of winter break, after all. Maybe we had gone off to some lavish island with his family.

You were surprised, as usual.

Eridan was waiting on the hood of your old car, being completely inconsiderate that it might break under him because the thing was old and a piece of junk. He had his legs crossed and was smoking, actually making circles with the smoke.

“What are you doing?” You asked, opening your car and putting your things in the back. He jumped down from the hood and opened the passenger side door, sitting despite your protest. He looked at you expectantly like you might know what exactly he wanted.

“What?” You finally snapped, taking his cigarette and throwing it out the window of the car.

“Drive me.” He said simply.

“Didn’t your rich parents buy you a Ferari or VW or something?”

Eridan narrowed his eyes, “Drive.”

You sighed and started the old car up, blasting the heat. The tip of Eridan’s nose was red and it was really quite endearing.

You were definitely not falling for Eridan Ampora.

“Where do you wanna go?” You asked, giving up any protest.

“I don’t care.”

“Oh?”

He sighed, “Botanical gardens.”

You snorted at his tried mystery and drove to the botanical gardens. They were empty mostly and Eridan seemed to like this, gesturing for you to follow him. He wasn’t wearing gloves and lucky it wasn’t too icy but he was shivering a bit. He turned once you were on the little bridge over a stream in the large gardens and turned around. You all but crashed into him.

“Why are we here?” You asked once you had straightened up. You were taller than him by a few inches. He shrugged, “I didn’t want to be boring at school all the time.”

“You aren’t boring.” You muttered.

“Neither are you.”

“Good.”

“Fine.”

The moments passed with a pregnant sort of silence, a moment on a worried string.

He turned to you, “I talked to your friend Aradia.”

You were taken back with surprise for a moment before you answered. “You did? What did you talk about?”

“You.”

“Me?”

“You.”

The silence hung again. You ran a hand through your hair, “What about me?”

“She says you talk about me to her.”

You didn’t answer to that, it wasn’t a thing you felt you needed to confirm or deny. Denial would’ve been preferable but you couldn’t quite form the words.

He reached up with his cold hands, brushing a bit of lint of your jacket. “It wasn’t anything in detail. Don’t worry.”

“I’m not worried.”

“Good.”

“Fine.”

You stared at each other until Eridan leaned up, taking your face in his cold hands. He kissed you gently and your brain was so confused it almost stopped working completely, unlike your heart. Your heart had just won the marathon in a second.

You were definitely not falling for Eridan Ampora.

He lips were cool and dry and you took it slow for a moment, surprisingly. He didn’t let you deepen the kiss and you didn’t even try.

You had your arms wrapped around him and his were cupping your face. The cold was bypassing you.

You have no idea how long it was but Eridan pulled away with his cheeks red. You almost smiled but he looked very forlorn.

“I’ll…see you on Monday.” He mumbled, turning and walking off.

You were definitely falling for Eridan Ampora.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .......  
>  So I'll be going on holiday tomorrow! I'm going to post two chapters tomorrow, so savor them my beautiful darlings <3
> 
> FEEDBACK PLEASE also thank you for Kudos-ing and Bookmarking and all that :)


	18. Beeswax

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So unfortunately my internet went out right as I was about to post this. Sorry for the delay! Next chapter will be up in a few hours, I'd say. Maybe tomorrow. Thank you for all of the kind words <3

Thick snowflakes, a New York winter and heavy blankets hardly could cover up your feelings.

New York was where your family was. The Captors were a small clan that made everyone gather up for Christmas. You were happy to see your brother and father but your mind was distracted, unfortunately. Once you got home you were either holed up with your new stash of beeswax candles or out at the botanical gardens, considering the dead plants like a botanist would with alive ones.

You didn’t see Eridan at all around town.

You were pathetic.

Aradia came by bearing gifts and Feferi too, though that visit was quite awkward. These were the two times your doorbell rang that December.

New Year’s Eve day was boring for you. You didn’t participate in the celebrations. You told Aradia that you were going to fuck off and get sloshed on your own. You told Feferi you were sick.

You did not expect anyone to come calling so you stayed in and watched TV and nursed your poor self back into complete denial. Unfortunately for your poor self and fortunately for your actual want the door was knocked on. You got out of your blanket nest and shuffled over to your door. You were still wearing your pajamas, boxers and a large Neutral Milk Hotel shirt. You opened the door and were quite taken aback to see the boy of your thoughts standing there with a small red box in his hands, decked with a blue ribbon.

“You like NMH?” Was his way of greeting you and he looked very pleased.

“Uh…yeah.” You nodded, looking down at your shirt. You looked back up at him, confused. “What are you doing here?”

“Aradia gave me your address…and told me what to get you…” Eridan looked a little embarrassed. “Can I come in? It’s really cold..”

You sighed and closed your eyes for a moment, thinking. Finally you nodded and let him in. He smiled politely and made his way into your apartment, looking around. You turned the television off and sat down on your couch, “So Aradia gave you my address and you invite yourself in why? Did anyone see?”

“No.” Eridan shook his head next to you, “I was careful. I…I dunno…I was just…I wanted to come over here.” He looked at his lap and handed the box to you. You opened it  slowly.

“Beeswax Budha?” You raised an eyebrow. “No one has ever given me a Budha.”

“Why all these candles anyway? Is it some sort of running joke?” He looked up and you with interest.

You decided that, okay, you could talk. That was fine. You were allowed to like talking to him even if some of the things he said were too pretentious. “Yeah…my grandfather had a little shop and it’s a small hobby of the whole family. When I was little I would try to eat the wax and at one point I got hot wax all over my right arm.” You snorted “So now everyone sends me candles. I don’t really used them, though.”

Eridan had a very listening face and it was a small story but he seemed very happy about you telling it. You stopped, caught up in violet. It was a strange moment and cliché but you were alright with that because he had come to you. He had given in first.

“So…what was that thing at the gardens?” You blurted. He looked shocked and his face flushed red, “I…I suppose it was just something I had wanted to do…kiss you like that.”

“Why?”

“Why the questions?”

“Eridan. You cannot just do that sort of thing and walk away like it didn’t happen.”

“I don’t really wanna talk about it…” Eridan shook his head, “Maybe later. I just wanted to see you…I’m not sorry.”

“Good.”

“Fine.” He looked at the blank TV and sighed, “I just…things are confusing, alright?”

“I know…” You replied, putting the candle down.

The silence was simple. Not necessarily awkward. You stared at each other for a while, not saying a word. Eridan leaned forward a little, lifting his hand to run a hand through your hair.

 You were on the cusp of kissing when the lights went out. The lights, the fridge, the electricity of the whole street was out. Now you were in the dark with Eridan Ampora, your uncovered denial and a whole lot of want.


	19. Blackout Candles

Candle light. Soft little knives against the dark and the smell of beeswax that had been sitting for a while, unused.

It was mostly the common molds. Flowers, animals, trees and all that sort of thing. Beeswax Buddha sat happily with a flame on top of his head.

You looked outside and the snow was almost two feet deep.

Eridan was puttering around lighting the candles. Had he walked here? You didn’t see his car and it had been pretty deep when he arrived. He looked up at you sheepishly, “I suppose I should get going.”

You crossed your arms, “How did you get here?”

“A friend drove me.” He said simply. “I can text them to pick me up.”

You shook your head, “Too dangerous.”

He looked at you, confused. “Does that mean I’ll be staying here, then?”

You replied with a curt yes and went into your bedroom with matches. He followed, “I’ll stay on the couch. Thank you.”

You shrugged like you offered students board whenever there was a big snowstorm. Like you kissed them all so charmingly and did nasty things to them behind closed doors. You only had the thoughts for him, though and you hated yourself for it.

When he was done with all the matches and all the candles he got another box of matches and wandered into your bedroom. You had a small apartment, three rooms. Your bedroom, the bathroom, the connected living area and kitchen. Candles were everywhere and he seemed to want to light all of them. Strange boy.

Eridan made a little surprised noise and you guessed it was in tripping over some computer chords. You had set up a little electronics room in the hall closet and it was cramped but your thing, so you didn’t mind. You never really had many people over so it didn’t matter.

He glared at the chords and looked in the closet with the curiosity of a sly fox but continued into your bedroom. You followed him slowly.

Eridan lit a lot of candles in your bedroom. Almost too many, as he was now bringing them into your room from the outside. You hoped that nothing would catch on fire.

“What are you doing?” You scoffed, leaning against the doorframe.

“Well I don’t need light to sleep and I don’t know how late you stay up—plus there’s all that coffee you drink so probably a while.” He turned to you. “So you need the light.” He stepped forward, getting in your space. His sweater was too big for him and he had a red spot on his forehead. He was bony. His bottom lip was a little too big, making his face look more feminine. He was perfect.

“Why didn’t we end up kissing?” He said suddenly, squinting at you from under his glasses.

“The lights went out.”

“So?”

“So it was surprising and like you said, this is all confusing. Inappropriate. All that kind of stuff.” You shrugged “You were the one who got up to light the candles in the first place.”

“But what if I wanted to kiss you again?”

“Then you would. I don’t doubt your boldness, ambition, desire, all that.” You smiled a little.

“I could do so much more.” He smirked, winking.

“I know you could. But would you?”

“You’ll see.”

The tension was beautiful and the candles sliced through it. Eridan finally moved around you and took some blankets to the couch. He lay down and closed his eyes.

You watched him and sighed, “You sure you’re alright on the couch?”

His eyes stayed closed. “Where else would I sleep…our relationship, whatever it is, being inappropriate or whatever.”

You nodded and slipped into your room.

\----

Late, late in the night you were woke by a pale Eridan next to you.

“I’m cold.”

He looked so much more like a child, eyes lost and sleepy. You moved over and lifted your blanket, “Forgot the heat went out.” You said groggily. He climbed in and snuggled against you, falling asleep straight away.

You nuzzled his head, out of your mind for lack of sleep, and drifted off with his cold body sucking the warmth from yours. You didn’t mind.

He was allowed to suck the warmth from your body and the sanity from your mind. The blackout lit you up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go lovelies. Always feedback is nice! Kudos. Everything! <3333


	20. Child

Caking warmth on layers of self-hatred, confusion, depression and self-pity made these feelings melt. They trickled away like the scream of a dying man. Dying was the man who coated himself in cold feelings, aloof and stony. He was becoming a child of the flowers, uncovering a youth he rushed through to become the man his father was. Someone to look up to.

You woke from this dream, slipping into another seconds after. The free seconds of your opened eyes were spent noticing how he mumbled in his sleep and grasping for those words.

The second dream was a lucid one.

A field.

You missed summer.

Child of the flowers, yourself, covered in grime and dirt and happiness. You could see yourself and you cocked your head, reaching out to take his hand. Your hand.

Flowers shied away and shook his head, “Not yet…go get what you want and come back another day.”

“What do I—what do we want?” You asked, reaching forward again. Flowers shrugged and sat down on the dirt, “You want this. This is who you want to be. Go and get it.”

“But you’re right here.”

“And you aren’t.”

“ _What?”_

“Eridan, you’re dreaming.”

You woke again and stayed awake. You stared at Sollux in the kind of cliché romantic way people did in movies. How had this happened? You remember someone once saying love was something that hit you like a truck full of bricks.

You weren’t in love.

You didn’t love him.

You just wanted to kiss him with a passion aside from lust and listen to him talk in his sleep and trace the wrinkles in his hands and have him hold you like he was. You scowled. You hated how commonplace your thinking was. Romance was, however, something that had happened over and over again. And it would continue to happen. And it would never stop.

You didn’t love him.

You would make him some sort of breakfast before he woke up and slip out of the apartment, however. First off you needed to extract yourself from his hold. It was easy enough, you were sure that you might be harder to stave off. You wanted to stick yourself to him.

“Hmm…” He murmured as you shimmed out of bed, rolling over like he was trying to find you again. You sighed and stroked his hair.

You needed to pull yourself away.

The electricity was back on, which was great. You weren’t sure who had fixed the problem because there was another foot and a half of snow out. Snow fairies, is what your mind told you first.

Maybe you did need to be more childish.

Sollux thought you were. Not in the right way, you suppose, but it was there.

Bacon, eggs, toast. You were making him what you called Housewife breakfast. You thought about it too much, it was just crispy bread, cooked baby chickens and dead pig. Nothing was romantic about dead pig at all.

When you were about done with Housewife Breakfast you were ready to hit yourself in the head with that frying pan.

“Stop overthinking, Eridan.” You muttered to yourself.

“What are you overthinking?”

You jumped and whipped around, looking scandalized. “You didn’t make a sound! You weren’t supposed to wake up yet!”

Sollux crossed his arms and smirked, “Are you trying to dictate when I wake up? What were you gonna do, walk out in that snow? Nu-uh, you’re hardly two feet taller than the buildup. You aren’t leaving until you can actually walk. Plus you’re not dressed for the winters here.”

You blushed and mumbled something about getting out of his way, doling out bacon and eggs and toast for him and just some toast for yourself. You handed him the plate and took a few steps to the couch. He sat next to you.

You were set to look at each other while you ate and your cheeks were flaming as he continued.

“Eridan…you were really gonna just leave like that? That’s...” He sighed and looked down at his eggs.

“Why? Do you want me to stay?” You asked quietly. After a pregnant pause he nodded, “I think you should. You and I need to sort things out.”

“I don’t want to.” You whined and covered your mouth when you realized that you had. But Sollux just smiled and rolled his eyes, “You’re such a child.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for everything that is just sent my way. Please, please, keep doing that.


	21. This

The television was on and your head was in his lap. His hands ran through you hair and it was a simple gesture but you could feel the conversation pulse through the tips of his fingers.

“What is this?”

That sentence had probably graced the air in front of your mouths fifty times. If you could see words the living room would be completely filled with that sentence.

“I don’t know.”

That was one too. You were spitting it back and forth.

Sollux sighed and stopped stroking your hair, thinking. “I really shouldn’t be doing anything with you. You know that. I’m a teacher. You’re underage.”

“I know.” You sighed “Let’s just…we can’t just keep asking without an answer.” You sat up and face him, moving so your legs were in his lap now. “I really like getting fucked by you—“

“And I like fucking you.” He smirked.

“But I also really like…this. Not the arguing or whatever some of this stuff is but like…last night…”

“You’re as red as a cherry.” He teased. His smile slipped away soon, however. “I do too. I like you as more than just a fuck-toy. I shouldn’t. And that’s all I will say on the matter.” It seemed pretty final. It seemed that he didn’t do emotions very well. The way he phrased things was completely confusing.

“Alright…well we have sex and emotions and we have to keep it quiet.” You said professionally. “This was so much easier before I started—“

Sollux raised an eyebrow, “You’re really red now. Yeah, yeah. I can tell what you’re leading up to.”

“What is this?”

“This is…” He moved and pulled you into his lap. “This is this.” He kissed you gently, first time that had ever been done, hands on your hips. You’d been in this position before but it felt different when you kissed like this. He was different, the energy you felt on his skin was one of a different person. Someone who knew more than they let on, someone who cared when he pretended he didn’t.

Sollux Captor.

Sollux Captor who told you your skin was cold and carried you to his bed. Sollux Captor who lead you into doing the act you had done before but this was new. This was brand new.

He was on top of you and you could see him.

His hands were slow when they moved over your clothes to push them away so he could kiss your skin and leave trails of burning hot where his fingers were.

Neither of you were in charge. You were just…being together.

Your hands were held to your side, your mouths were open and your eyes were wet at one point. He didn’t say anything about it. He just kissed you where you needed to be kissed and touched you where you needed to be touched. Your hands let go of his to wrap around his back, pulling him down into you.

Your head fell to the side and you were panting, but it wasn’t the pornographic show you usually gave. It was soft, sweet and gentle.

Your eyes fluttered closed and you could hear the bed squeaking and somehow it was the best noise in the world. You were melting everywhere and he was drinking it all up, bringing you closer and closer.

Your heart burst out of your chest when he said your name and you were undone, holding his face and shaking as if the world were falling apart around you. You kissed him hard as the orgasm ended and he didn’t bite you as usual.

He looked scared when he looked at you. And you thought you might have done something wrong. You weren’t scared of your feelings.

You were terrified.


	22. Thoughts of Captor

January flashed before your eyes in a blur of Eridan’s happy tears and your quiet solace. Eridan cried during sex sometimes and it stuck in your mind like honey. He was a sap. He was sensitive. He was too much.

He was yours.

You didn’t show your affection very well or very much. It wasn’t in you DNA. But he did. He would curl up next to your and kiss you and nuzzle your head all in the span on five minutes.

He was yours.

He came by your house a lot, slowly and carefully so as not to get caught. He was always in your bed and always stealing your warmth. He really was into you.

“You like me, right?” He asked one day as you pet his hair while you watched reruns on your old TV.

You looked down at him, “Why do you ask? Of course I do.”

“But you…” He sighed and covered his face, “Nevermind.”

“Eridan, I am not just gonna talk about it. I do like you. You are mine.” You said curtly. “Absolutely and completely.” You didn’t look at him and you didn’t change your tone.

“I’m yours…but you’re…ugh.” He was pouting and being absolutely ridiculous. Eridan picked a pillow up and hit you with it. You looked at him with narrowed eyes.

“What? I’m happy, Eridan. I’m happy with you and you are mine. What do you want me to say?”

He shrugged, blushing a little. “I dunno…I just…this isn’t anything official and it’s fucking annoying.”

“This is a relationship where you and I are together, we have sex, we hang out. You’re emotionally invested in me, I am in you—don’t make me repeat it—and that is it. We pretend it’s not like that in school. We don’t see other people.”

“I like that.” Eridan nodded “I do.” He kissed your cheek. “I like you.”

“I like you back.” You hummed, focusing back on the television.

He was sensitive, sappy and teary.

He was yours.

It hit you like a ton of bricks when you consummated the relationship. You would not tell him that though.

You dreamed in lavender and loved to see him at your door and it was all happening too fast.

You thought you were going crazy. Your heart beat too fast, your stomach twisted, your breath got shallow.

It was flu, you thought at first. Eridan had the flu and he was giving you a wave of it every time he saw you.

Aradia, when you explained it to her, made a big show of rolling her eyes and her yogurt spoon around. “You know it’s not the flu, Sollux. And you know that. Just figure it the fuck out.”

You had. You knew it wasn’t the flu.

Eridan was amazing and yours and all of that shit but you were not, as a twenty eight year old man, going to fall in love with a seventeen year old boy. Not now, not ever.

“Sol, do you believe in soul mates?” He had once asked. He was reading some book about reincarnation. You shrugged and looked back to your book. Lolita, of course. You were re-reading the beginning. “Do you?”

“I don’t know.”

Pages turned, season changed, soon it was February. Eridan was about to turn eighteen.

Maybe you might work up the courage and tell him on his birthday. For that moment you would be stoic and cold and only tell him you liked him when he asked.

But you did.

Maybe a little more than you wanted to admit.

He was yours.


	23. Electric Heartbreak

Electronic heartbeat.

That was all you thought as Aradia and Karkat pulled you into the club. It was too loud and too flashy and too perfect.

Karkat immediately went off to harass the DJ who was also apparently his new lover. Aradia flashed her ID and got a cocktail, handing you a beer.

Friday night. Eridan was having a party and you were being dragged out to the club by your friends. Apparently it was family owned, which was a running joke between the tenders. Saturday would be spent on birthday presents. Birthday sex. Maybe a confession or two.

But for now you two were spending a night apart so he can have whatever teenage fun he wants.

You could barely hear over the latest music remixed and remixed again. Aradia was checking out some girl across the room and you followed her gaze. It was Vriska and you shrugged. The nature of their relationship was complicated and confusing. Strange that Aradia wouldn’t know that she was there that night, however.

And then you saw Feferi and it was twice as odd. She was still following you around like a lost puppy. You almost felt bad but she was also pretty annoying at times.

If she saw you, you were dead. No matter, you were going to have fun in the electric heartbeat.

You suddenly realized that everyone looked kind of familiar in that corner of the club. Vriska, Feferi, the Maryam girl and

Smiling and looking perfectly serene in a skirt (when had that come into the picture? Crossdresser your mind said immediately. Hot.) and a shirt that read “Kiss me I’m legal.”

Kiss my I’m legal.

Red flag.

And you watched silently from the side you were on and your eyes were huge once you saw some guy grab Eridan’s ass. He didn’t push him away. He laughed.

He fucking laughed.

_Kiss me I’m legal, Kiss me I’m legal._

You made your way across the club and he saw you on the dancefloor. His smile shone and you wished you could take it with happiness as usual but instead you wanted to punch it off his face. You shouldn’t be this jealous but you were. You were completely jealously green.

“Hi!” He ran up to you, not caring in the packed place. “I didn’t know you would be here!”

“I didn’t either…” You said through clenched teeth. His smile faltered and he looked confused.

“What? Have I done something wrong?” He asked, completely innocent.

“You just let people touch you like that, huh? Is that what you do in your free time? Act like some sort of whore?” You were angrier than you would’ve liked to have been. Bipolar…did you take your pills in the morning? Yes, of course. But the monster was there and he wouldn’t go away. “And that shirt. That’s like a glowing sign to every person in here that they can just kiss you, huh? Do you not have morals, Eridan Ampora?”

“Whoa—Sol, you’re blowing this completely out of proportion.” Eridan looked like a caught deer. “You know I’m just having a little fun, it is my birthday after all! Come on, let it go. Let’s dance.” He started to pull on your hand but you pulled away.

“No.”

“What?”

“I can’t believe you!” You grabbed his wrist a little too hard. “You and I said we would just see each other but you’re walking around with everyone else’s hands up your ass. Fuck. You.”

He was completely stunned. “Let go of my wrist, please.”

“Don’t come to my house tomorrow.” You snapped. You let him go and walked away.

Electric heartbeat was dead and so were you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dumbasses
> 
> Love you guys! Please leave feedback, it fuels me.


	24. Feeling

Self hate is like toxic waste, burning through skin and touching others until it’s consumed all.

He came on Saturday and you were thankful, running to open the door and greet him.

“Eridan! I was su—“

The cold wind air was absolutely nothing compared to the ice that cracked against your skin and spread into your heart. It was a furious sadness that just made you want to sink back into a vortex and forget how to live. You didn’t know it was possible for someone else—someone ten years younger than you-- to make you feel so much.

“It was my fucking—“ Another slap to your cheek. “BIRTHDAY.”

He was livid and his eyes were drilling into your skin, making holes in your soul and your guilt growing with them. His bullet points oozed no regret and you could feel your skin breaking into a million pieces.

“Eridan, I was completely drunk and I didn—“

“Shut UP. You have no right, Sollux Captor.” He snapped “Just came to deliver that. Slaps. Enjoy them, it’s the last time you’ll be touching me.”

He slammed your own door in your face and when you opened it he was screeching away in his car. He hadn’t been careful. Your heart was shattered.

\---

The next half-week was an awful tearing time for you. You felt as if your brain was dripping out of your ears when you didn’t see him and when you did your heart plunged down into your stomach. Soon it felt like you were filled with stale air instead of blood and you hated every single cell of your body. Even more than before.

Each class was literal torture. He wouldn’t look at you and every time you would ask to see him after class.

“Ampora, I need to see you after class.”

He would just walk away, amidst his classmates.

Every day was hairpulling.

Every night was a sob.

You had no idea how a person could make you feel so much.

\---

Thursday was a little better.

\---

Thursday was a lot better.

It started out the same awful drone, the same eyerolls from him and silent treatment.

“Ampora, I need to see you after class.”

He scoffed and as they were walking out you supposed that he might respond to something more familiar.

“Eridan Ampora turn around right now.”

That stopped him. You said his first name the way you did after sex when your hands were in his hair and his lips were trailing your neck.

“Eridan. I need to see you after class.”

He looked like a caught deer. Under all the cool he had blown towards you he was still fragile.

He nodded slowly, “I’ll come after rehearsal.”

The seconds were painful and when you finally saw him at your door it was too late. He had obviously thought about standing you up, got a Starbucks, went home for a snack and then came back all after rehearsal.

“Hi.” He whispered, walking in. You were leaning against the desk. He was about to say something but you held your hand up.

“Let me talk.”

He nodded.

“Listen, Eridan. I was stupid and drunk and jealous and I’m sure that’s an excuse plenty of pigs use on their boy and girlfriends. Just understand, okay? Seeing you with all those people who were all over you really hurt a lot. I deserved those slaps as it was your birthday and I was more of an ass than usual.”

“You really hurt me.” He said bluntly. You swallowed thickly, “Yeah…I know. And you hurt me. I guess we’re even.” You sat down in your chair and placed a little package on the table. “Theres your present.”

He didn’t touch it. Instead he was making his way around the table and sighing as he sat on your lap. He lay his head on your shoulder. “I cry every night.” He mumbled. “How can you make me feel so much?”

“You do the same to me.”

“Good.”

“Fine.”

You both laughed the tiniest little bit and the mood was maybe one shade lighter.

“Why were you so extremely jealous and mean to me?” Eridan asked as the laughter faded.

You took a deep breath. It was time, you supposed. To admit things to yourself and to him.

“I think that it’s because I love you.” You replied.

Eridan was quiet. He pulled back from your shoulder and looked into your eyes. Bullets were gone and lavender was back.

“I love you to-“

The door slammed and you both looked up.

In the most unlikeliest of places, the most unusual person to be in the place had shown up. They had seen—possibly heard—it all.

Feferi Peixes shook her head, looking disappointed. Behind her complexion there was a dangerous look of malice and mischief.

You were now both dead. For real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And at that moment both Eridan and Sollux thought about how their movie-plot reunion had been ruined. Sollux also thought about some other things, but those will be discussed later.
> 
> Thank you loves for your feedback and everything! It helps me well!


	25. Catching

You were all limbs, jumping off of Sollux and sprinting down the hallway with him right behind you on his spindly thin legs. Feferi was walking away with speed and you could practically see the steam coming from her ears.

“Fef!”

Her high heels tapped an annoyed song on the linoleum floors and you leapt forward, “Fef!”

Sollux was probably a little surprised. You jumped onto Feferi and held her arms to her side. “Do not tell anyone.” You panted.

“What?” Feferi turned around slowly, pealing you off of her. “So you can continue on your gross, disgusting, ILEGALL love boat with Captain Never-Calls-Back here?” She spat.

“Yes! Exactly.” You let your hands fall to the side. “Please, Fef. Feferi. Please.”

“No.” She crossed her arms and smiled with tight lips. “I now have some things I’ve wanted for a while. One, something to blackmail you with. Two, something to get you in trouble with. And three. Proof that I am a million times right about the both of you.”

You stepped back a little bit, settling into a stance next to Sollux. “Why? Who are you blackmailing and why do you want to be better? What the hell?”

“Because you have always been exceeding expectation while I just meet them, Eridan. You’re doted upon because you’re younger. Sollux here just stopped talking to me just when I was getting into him.”

“Hold on!” Sollux put his hand up. “I broke up with you.”

“You didn’t!” Feferi pointed at him accusingly. “You did not. And of course Eridan beat me here, too. Getting you. Not that I’d want you anymore. You don’t call, or indicate any kind of break and you’re fooling around with one of your students. Eridan fucking Ampora.”

You know that Fef is amazing at holding grudges. She should get some sort of medal, you think. And you can tell that she has some points but—

“Brrreeeuuuughhhhh.” Sollux makes the exact frustrated noise you were thinking, rolling his eyes and holding his hands up on his head. “What do you want, Feferi?”

“What do I want…hmm…when I think of it I’ll _call_ you.” She snapped, turning on her heal and storming away in such a venomous manner you didn’t chase her along. You would be able to talk yourself out of this, but Sollux might not.

You took a deep breath and staggered a little, falling against the wall and sliding down it to sit down. “We are in such deep shit. She can hold a grudge like no one else.” You sighed “What are we going to do?”

“We’re going to…stop seeing each other until Feferi knows what she wants and we can give it to her.” Sollux said. He knelt down in front of you and placed a hand on your knee. You nodded slowly and moved forward, wrapping your arms around him in a hug.

Hugs were never your ‘thing’. You just weren’t that sort of guy; you jumped from hello’s to kisses. Even with family it was rare. Your family was distant anyway. But this was needed. You pressed yourself into his sweater and breathed in with closed eyes and surprisingly he hugged you back. You sat there in the empty hallway hugging him for who knows how long and it felt good, better than you thought hugs could.

“Don’t forget your birthday present. Just…open it at home, I guess.” Sollux exhaled, pushing his classes up his nose as he pulled away. “It isn’t much. The important thing is that I…uh…I…”

“Love me.” You chuckled a little at the way he was embarrassed in saying it. “I love you too.” You kissed him gently, sad to part as you stood up.

“I’ll see you then…” You hummed, looking down at the floor sadly.

Sollux matched your pose, taking one of your hands and squeezing it before letting it fall against your side once more. “Don’t worry. I’ll see you in your daydreams.”

“You’re trying to be smooth!”

You allowed a laugh and it echoed down the hallway as you shoved him amicably before heading on your way. The moment would be kept for solace when you worried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alas the lovers apart by the wench
> 
> actually i feel bad for making her bad. idk. whatever fef.
> 
> Thanks for all the feedback! Please gimme gimme more (beat drops) or like ideas or fun things hell yeah


	26. Fences

Spring dripped her slender fingers over Winter’s chest as the year progressed and you still hadn’t found any sort of information that might help you.

So you climbed a fence. Literally.

You, Eridan Ampora, would never be caught dead climbing some girls fence to grovel and beg about it all, tearing your jeans a little on the way. But there you were, falling down on your ass and getting grass and mud all over your butt.

“Oh my god this is what I’m doing for this and Sol or Fef better pay for these stains fucking frrrgghhghgmbl.” You grumbled to yourself. After fretting about your ruined pants you got up, pulling yourself by the fence. You walked over to her porch and knocked rapidly. “Feferi!”

You waited a while for her to answer and you could tell that she had walked over slowly, unlocked the door gradually and she was pulling it open at leisure. “Hey slut.”

“Bitch.”

“What do you want?” She sighed, leaning against the door frame.

“I want you to tell me what you want right now.” You crossed your arms. “Come on. Please?”

Feferi twisted her mouth around and looked around the porch. “So you and Sollux are calling your relationship off because of me? That sounds exactly like what I want.” She started to close the door but you stopped her by stepping inside.

“Fef…that’s really awful.”

“Eridan, you’re really awful. I love you but you are really awful.” She closed her eyes. “I don’t wanna talk to you.”

“Fef! I wanna be friends but we can’t if you’re just going to ignore me and hold this fucking grudge. I didn’t mean to steal him or whatever. I didn’t know that he didn’t call it off with you first. I do know that he is an ass. He is a _complete_ ass. But I kind of love him. A lot.”

She stared at you like you had grown horns. You ran a hand through your hair self-consciously and exhaled noisily, “This is the part in the rollicking love story where you forgive me and say something along the lines of ‘Go get him.’ And then let me go tell my boy that everything is good and dandy and beautiful.”

“Eridan…I can’t just let you off for—“

“For love? That’s real low.”

“Shut up, oh my god. Okay, fine.” Feferi pulled her hair to the side of her shoulder, “We can compromise. I suppose it isn’t completely your fault. This is between Sollux and I. But you could do something for me.”

“And what’s that?” You asked, hope filling your body. “What can I do?”

“I guess I’m not jealous of you or Sollux. I’m jealous of the relationship you have.” She mumbled. “So I’m going to let you set me up with someone. It’s that easy. The rest I’ll sort out with him.”

“Really?!” You shrieked “Really! Hell yeah, thanks Fef!”

“Sure.” She smiled a little, letting you hug her a little before pushing you off. “Go home, get some sleep. I’ll talk to Sollux tomorrow. Then I’ll come home and you’ll have a date ready for me. Okay?”

“Okay.” You nodded and stepped out of her house. This time you let yourself out of the gate and back to yours. Who the hell could you set up with Feferi? You were still a little resentful, so maybe someone she wouldn’t enjoy too much.

\---

“Hey Cro? Wanna go on a date tomorrow and ruin it?”

“I’m with Kann-“

“Do it for me.”

Eyeroll and an annoyed huff, “Sure, sure. Fine.”

“You’ll love it.”

“I know.”


	27. Apology

Your house felt really empty without the enigma you knew as Eridan Ampora flitting about, straightening pictures and dusting filthy spaces and kissing you. You expected him to slip around the corner and tell you that your house was messy or that your hair needed a trim or little things like that.

Today that thought was interrupted by a knock on the door.

You jumped up all too fast and somehow expected it to be Eridan at the door as you had been thinking of him. You were apparently not a twenty-eight year old man anymore but a sixteen year old boy again.

“Hi Sollux Captor.” Feferi didn’t exactly disappoint you, not-Eridan disappointed you.

“Hello Feferi Peixes.” You said after a second of realization.

“I’m here to talk civilly…person to person.” She said, looking down at her feet.

“Alright…come in.” You opened the door wider, letting her come in. Feferi smelled like the ocean breeze shampoo that a certain boy of yours used and you rolled your eyes. What was this? Another move?

She sat on your couch and folded her arms together. “You are an asshole. You are a cheating, lying, awful asshole who does not deserve any sort of happiness from a bloodsucker like Eridan Ampora.”

“Uhh…” You sat across from her on an armchair that was withering away. “Okay? What does this have to do with anything?”

“I just wanted to let you know. I think you’re an ass, a cheat, a liar, a slut, a pervert, disgusting and really, really, really stupid. I hope I hurt your feelings.”

“I suppose.” You shrugged. It would get to you in the middle of the night but not right now. “Is that all?”

“Scoundrel, a snake, a pervert again, a douchebag and most importantly an asshole. Have I made myself clear?” She stood up.

“Crystal.” You grumbled.

“I’m not going to tell the authorities but you best be careful. I’m watching you, Sollux Captor. You really hurt me and if you do anything to anyone else I will hurt you. Physically. For now I’ll leave the mental scars.” She smiled at you all too sweetly. “Now tell me, what have you gotten Eridan for his birthday?”

“Wha—what? FF—Feferi….what does this have to do with any of it?”

“I’m actually a nice person. And I might be holding some grudges against you but Eridan actually had the balls to come over and ask for some sort of forgiveness. So I’m making sure you treat him right, like a good friend. Now what did you get him for his birthday?” She snapped, still smiling.

“Uhh….a few rolls of film and a box of all the pictures of he and I.”

“Not creative enough. Go get some posterboard, superglue and those little kiddie stickers you find at the supermarket and make him something so sickly romantic he’ll fall over of a love-heart-attack. Make something so sweet he’ll get cavities. Got me?” She spat. You nodded and ran a hair through your hair.

“Is that all?” You asked, watching her make her way to the door.

“Kind of.”

Oh, of course. You had to be a bigger man and actually stoop low. You stood and faced her. “I am sorry.” You said, looking her straight in the eye.

“Thanks.” She pushed her way out and you watched her drive away with a word or two in mind.

___                                                                                                                                                                

Eridan was absolutely thrilled when you show him the gigantic poster-card you’ve made him. You’d decided that he should come over on that Friday and spend the night. Because you’re off the hook easy and falling harder every day.

He kissed you prettily and stuck the new roll of film into his camera and took some more pictures of the two of you kissing. Then he gave the camera to you and you knew that all was well because Eridan Ampora was back where he belonged. In your home, in your lap and back merging into your heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> porn next chapter.
> 
> UPD8 SOONER IF YOU LEAVE ME PRETTY COMMENTS BECAUSE I LOVE YOU ALLLLLL
> 
> Also this fic is almost finished. Another Erisol multichap will be up soon, written by yours truly. It's called The L Word and I hope you'll read it! <3333


	28. Sense

Eyes closed.

Mouth working, moving with the soft, plump lips against you.

He smells like rain, lavender and the tiniest bit of mothballs and wool.

Your fingers work on his shirt, grasping at the thick fabric, feeling his soft, soft skin.

And the sounds, one of your favorite things. His little whimpers and sighs.

“Hey…” He whispered. “Can we at least move onto the couch?”

You nodded and picked him up, playfully squeezing his ass which made him squeak. Eridan held onto you, clinging like a koala to a tree. You sat on the couch and continued undressing him while he did the same to you. Eridan leaned down, pressing his chest to yours. It seemed like he was trying to feel your heartbeat as he kissed you, rolling his whole body over yours.

“You know you can use the camera…” He murmured, making pretty hickies on your neck. You raised an eyebrow and fumbled for the polaroid camera that was sitting on the coffee table. You lay back, head resting on the couch pillows as you set the viewfinder to your eyes and waited for Eridan to do something picture worthy. He’s kinky, your Lolita boyfriend. But you think he just wants you to take pictures so he feels pretty.

You would tell him he was. But you weren’t that kind of person.

“Sol…” Eridan hummed, unbuttoning your pants slowly. Each tooth of the zipper of your pants was undone gradually. He leaned down and kissed the skin under your navel. Picture, easy.

He kissed to your boxers and pulled them down with his teeth after pulling your pants off. The graze of his teeth made you harder. Picture, easy.

So many pictures were taken and if they were found you would be in so much trouble. It was your way of telling him that he was beautiful without words. You didn’t want to say it, you didn’t want to say anything but his name.

Sometimes you loved him so much you wanted to hurt him for the way you felt.

This was not one of those times. This was a time where he took time to take off his clothes and when he was ready he put the camera away. This was a time where instead of scratching you he kisses you softly as he lowered himself onto your dick.

Things changed there.

Eridan sunk down and you had to close your eyes to keep yourself from saying anything stupid. He lifted up again and then slammed right back down, making you moan. He bounced up and down, hips moving as fast as they could. All you could do was the occasional push up into him and there he screamed, every time the head of your cock met his prostate he screamed. Maybe one more picture.

He didn’t notice until the flash went off and then he was the shyest, blushiest boy, the complete opposite of the sex kitten screamer you had seen a minute ago.

“You alright?” You asked, still breathless.

“Mhmm…” He nodded and leaned forward, changing the pace and kissing you gently as he rolled his hips. You put the camera down and he stuffed his hands in your hair. “Mmm…Sol, I need more…”

“Whats that?” You breathed between kisses.

“I need more?”

“Didn’t hear that.” You were full out teasing and he knew it, slapping your chest. “Don’t do that! I said I need more, I need you Sollux Captor. I need you to turn this around and fuck my brains out!!”

“Eridan, isn’t it _making love._ ” You teased. He made a face and hit you again. You rolled your eyes, “Fine. Hold on.” You tried to turn him over on the couch but you ended up on the floor with an ungraceful thump. Eridan looked pained and you kissed his collarbone to make him feel better. He was still pouting.

“You’re mean.”

“You love me though.”

“Shut up and start moving.” He laughed and the sound was beautiful.

You laughed with him and started moving your hips, grabbing one of his legs and lifting it so you could angle better.

“Right there—right there!” Eridan gasped and you continued to move like that and soon your senses were merging together as he screamed your name and you his.

Finally you’d figured it out. As you watched Eridan smiled all loopy as he came down, his Welsh accent stronger when he said your name and other pretty things.

Romance was stupid. Romance was crazy and blind and it hurt your back and your hips and your lips and sometimes you hated the person you loved because you loved them and love was a pervert sometimes.

Love was Eridan Ampora with his stupid pretty accent and his stupid pretentious tastes and his stupid amazing love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one more chapter and I'll be putting this fic to rest. A happy rest.
> 
> BUT I WILL BE WRITING ANOTHER ERISOL MULTICHAPTER because it's my otp and also some cronkri and, hey, if you wanted to request a one-shot of whatever YOUR otp is then hit me up on tumblr. I love you all.


	29. The End

A few years later and everything is kind of quirky perfect. You fight and you scratch and you always kiss and touch and makeup.

You’re still teaching at the highschool and Eridan is on his third year in college, studying photography, fine art and foreign languages. He practices by talking dirty in Italian. It’s amusing but still get’s you hard as hell.

Eridan is officially yours and since he graduated a while ago you can be more open about it. There was some speculation by the press but you fended it off.

You’re teaching a class when it happens. He bursts through the door and jumps you. You lose your balance and fall back onto the floor and Eridan is kissing you all over your face and then your mouth and you might get in trouble for it but he’s got his tongue in your mouth. The class is quiet, looking at you two in awe. You pull away from the kiss and raise an eyebrow. “You’re gonna get me in trouble.”

Eridan looks like he doesn’t care at all. He really probably doesn’t. He kisses you again and grins, “Sol….Sol, Sol, Sol, Sol. You should be more careful where you hide your Tiffanys boxes. You know I clean your apartment all the time, even your drawers.”

“Huh?” You’re confused for a moment, still a bit stunned by his whole sudden entrance-kissing-mischievous-grin thing. Your brain slowly starts to connect the dots, “Tiffany’s…Tiffany’s….SHIT! TIFFANYS.”

You hear snickers from the class and ignore them because Eridan is leaning over you, wiggling the fingers on his left hand. “Tiffany’s. I can’t even believe you.”

“Eridan Ampora you couldn’t have waited _one fucking day_?” You snap, but you’re grinning too. You take his hand and kiss his finger. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Sollux Captor. Ti-fan-ees.” He says slowly, waggling his fingers again. “You are amazing and great and wow I really wanna kiss you again.”

“Students.” You whisper. “Later. I promise.”

“I love you.” He kisses your nose and gets off of you, brushing off and begins to walk away. You stand up too, straightening your tie and looking nervously at your students. One girl with short blonde hair leans forward right as Eridan is opening the door. “Whats your answer?!” She cries like it’s gonna kill her if she doesn’t know. You probably will too.

Eridan turns around and studies the ring once more. He looks at you and smiles, “Absolutely, positively, unconditionally and clearly yes.”

The class cheered and Eridan blushed a little, backing out of the class and blowing you kisses. As the cheering died down you looked around the class.

You smiled, “Not a word to anyone.”

“Will you invite us to the wedding?” The blonde asks.

“Sure. As long as you don’t tell on me.”

The rest of the class is spent answering questions on what color schemes you want and all that kind of annoying shit that only Eridan would want to answer. You were in your own world. What solace the original sin of kissing him had brought you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boohoo. Tell me what you think! I'm very pleased with the turnout of this fic. Also my new one is up. It's a completely smutty EriSol thing thats a lot of fun. go read it maybe? It's called The L Word and I would appreciate your input!


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